EW – Oh Fuck Yes
Angry shouting large person who famously faced off with a more terrible angry shouting large person, Rosie O’Donnell, WROTE A POEM about meeting the daughter of her nemesis – Ivanka Trump. The idea of Rosie O’Donnell sitting down to pen observative soliloquies, for some utterly inexplicable reason, just tickles me. That in answer to Trump’s furious televised tirade of hate is answered with quiet, un-capitalized clauses of thought is just… right. It just feels right. So you do you, Rosie. Your lines are real swinging, dig?
People – Here’s a Good Looking Couple
Leathery pundit Sean Penn is at it again, drivin’ by the local community college pickin’ up hotties. Awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeh. His latest target is Vincent D’Onofrio’s 24-year-old daughter Leila George. Gee Sean, what do the two of you talk about? With 36 years of experience and life-having you got on her I’m sure your conversations are riveting.
Us – Kelso and Jackie are Having a Boy
Boy oh boy. Shrug.
E! – Don’t Piss Off Burke
Burke Ramsey, the “a lil’ on-the-spectrum if you ask me, wink-wink, nudge-nudge” brother of dead pageant girl JonBenét, is suing Dr. Werner Spitz $150 million for implying (quite convincingly, but that’s neither here nor there) that he was the one that dunnit in 1996, bludgeoning his little sister to death over a piece of pineapple. So what have we learned here? Don’t piss off Burke. Because you will end up dead, broke, or both.
Deadspin – Git’er Done to the Hospital
Larry the Cable Guy, sleeveless spokesperson for both head trauma patients and Bass Pro Shops, continues doing what he does best: barreling through life disgusting people. Here he is snapping a guy’s arm during a friendly arm wrestling match. Which is funny, because having your arm forcibly twisted until your bones pop out of their sockets is kind of like how I’d describe the feeling of Larry the Cable Guy’s comedy.
Have a safe weekend, everyone! Don’t get dead!
(Shep Smith, America’s New Sweetheart. This whole thing is great, but skip to the 4-minute mark for the true coup de grâce:)
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!