Woof, remember when we all wished our little Christmas hearts out for Kristen and Jax to have slept together? Well, Karma has come back to haunt us for wishing for ugly things – looks like Jax and Kristen did do the nasty, and NASTY it was. I know, because the show felt the need to give us all the gory, gory details over and over and over again. I cannot escape the very clear mental images of the Jaxten hook-ups, and I don’t know that I ever will. They’ve certainly ruined an incredibly decent movie for me, that’s for sure. How dare you do such a thing to Ryan Gosling. For SHAME.All I hear when I look at his face now are the shameful slurps of Jaxten’s illicit oral. Woof. But, that’s not the only disgusting thing to happen this episode, so let’s be fair and start at the very beginning. Kristina, Stassi and Katie sit with pretentious fucking smoothies and rehash Kristen’s meltdown at work and its aftermath. Apparently, we only saw part of Stassi and Katie’s conversation with Lisa. Conveniently, we didn’t see Lisa quiz Stassi and Katie about Kristen and Jax, nor did we see her call Jax over to this backstabbing session and ask him about it directly. In that moment, he admitted to sleeping with Kristen, not once, but twice, and one of those times was with Tom passed out in the next room. Yeah. Shitty. It doesn’t really get shittier than that, but the minute I say that to myself, Stassi starts reiterating the details Prince Jax shared with all of them – a blow-by-blow, if you will. I learn new realms of shitty listening to exactly how Kristen and Jax committed their unholy union, and I’m surprised that Kristina and Katie aren’t sending those smoothies back up as soon as they go down. As for Stassi, princess is out for blood. Specifically Kristen’s coffee-flavored nicotine-saturated blood. Stassi’s already busy masterminding how she’s going to rip Kristen to shreds bit by stringy bit. And honestly, it is pretty fucked up what Kristen and Jax did, especially when, according to Stassi, Kristen was advising her friend to get back with Jax all the while they were boning. On the other hand, Stassi is a vengeful cunt of the first order, and given that she manipulates and victimizes everyone around her on a regular basis, I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. Maybe her and Kristen will end up in some sort of mutually beneficial Mexican stand-off and we’ll somehow be rid of both of them. One can only dream.Meanwhile, at Tom and Kristen’s Den of Hangovers and Delusion, Kristen’s updating her resume in preparation for her now probably unemployment. Tom is adorable and supportive, telling her she should use her newfound lack of distraction and friends to focus on her acting. That way, she’ll have a chance in hell one day of quitting Sur not because she can’t get along with other people, but because […]
Woof, remember when we all wished our little Christmas hearts out for Kristen and Jax to have slept together? Well, Karma has come back to haunt us for wishing for ugly things – looks like Jax and Kristen did do the nasty, and NASTY it was. I know, because the show felt the need to give us all the gory, gory details over and over and over again. I cannot escape the very clear mental images of the Jaxten hook-ups, and I don’t know that I ever will. They’ve certainly ruined an incredibly decent movie for me, that’s for sure. How dare you do such a thing to Ryan Gosling. For SHAME.All I hear when I look at his face now are the shameful slurps of Jaxten’s illicit oral. Woof. But, that’s not the only disgusting thing to happen this episode, so let’s be fair and start at the very beginning. Kristina, Stassi and Katie sit with pretentious fucking smoothies and rehash Kristen’s meltdown at work and its aftermath. Apparently, we only saw part of Stassi and Katie’s conversation with Lisa. Conveniently, we didn’t see Lisa quiz Stassi and Katie about Kristen and Jax, nor did we see her call Jax over to this backstabbing session and ask him about it directly. In that moment, he admitted to sleeping with Kristen, not once, but twice, and one of those times was with Tom passed out in the next room. Yeah. Shitty. It doesn’t really get shittier than that, but the minute I say that to myself, Stassi starts reiterating the details Prince Jax shared with all of them – a blow-by-blow, if you will. I learn new realms of shitty listening to exactly how Kristen and Jax committed their unholy union, and I’m surprised that Kristina and Katie aren’t sending those smoothies back up as soon as they go down. As for Stassi, princess is out for blood. Specifically Kristen’s coffee-flavored nicotine-saturated blood. Stassi’s already busy masterminding how she’s going to rip Kristen to shreds bit by stringy bit. And honestly, it is pretty fucked up what Kristen and Jax did, especially when, according to Stassi, Kristen was advising her friend to get back with Jax all the while they were boning. On the other hand, Stassi is a vengeful cunt of the first order, and given that she manipulates and victimizes everyone around her on a regular basis, I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. Maybe her and Kristen will end up in some sort of mutually beneficial Mexican stand-off and we’ll somehow be rid of both of them. One can only dream.Meanwhile, at Tom and Kristen’s Den of Hangovers and Delusion, Kristen’s updating her resume in preparation for her now probably unemployment. Tom is adorable and supportive, telling her she should use her newfound lack of distraction and friends to focus on her acting. That way, she’ll have a chance in hell one day of quitting Sur not because she can’t get along with other people, but because […]