Trashy gossip outside of our stellar recaps seems to be at a low point this week, so I give you a little drollery from one of our own commenters: NotWithoutMyTV on Sister Wives Feel: My mail-order Sudanese pageant child arrived healthy but soon became ill. Turns out he had a 19-foot tapeworm wrapped around his aorta. I had been feeding him more pixie stix and Red Bull than usual to keep him awake and bright-eyed for the Lower Arkansas Greater Midwest Ultra Glitz Showdown Pageant Local Nationals, so it was kinda hard to tell he was sick. We didn’t win any tiara-level prizes that day, but we were robbed by jealous bitches. I had health insurance, but I went to the emergency room and pled poverty. They gave me some expired dog heart-worm medicine, and it did the trick. So, I know exactly what you went through! elvisgrace had no idea what he was talking about, perhaps not having shared all the Toddlers and tiaras frivolity, so he explained: competion in the glitz pageants you see on Toddlers and Tiaras. Biggest problem is, I don’t possess a child. So I wrote a letter to one of those Sudanese war orphanages, and told them to “pick me out a facially gifted one, then him/her over here ‘live freight’.” I figured, if Brad and Angelina can do it, so can I. But I went with the Sudan, because adopting Chinese kids is sooooo 2004, you know? My story’s been all over TLC. They just CAN’T GET ENOUGH of the “freak family” angle.Now on the voting. Aunt Dorsey on Bachelor Jump: Holy crap, Elise stalked that preening hot tub of STDs, “The Situation” !? That man not only makes me reach for a bottle of Maalox, he also makes we want to take a leisurely stroll through a decontamination station. Bluuuuuuuuhah. NotWithoutMyTV on Bachelor Jump: I REALLY don’t know why you’re all harshing my Bachelor mellow like this. With your stripper stories and slagging One Pebble’s Dad skillz and making him out to be a homophobe. It should be about the Journey! All you folks want to do is get drunk enough in front of the ghostly blue light of your tvs to numb the cynicism that eating you alive! I know. I was one of you.But I found something better.Gapeach on Sister Wives Mini: No – I’ve noticed them, too. I’d be afraid to kiss Kody for fear of catching something. Well, I’d be scared to kiss him regardless whether Robyn has cold sores or not, but… Pages: 1 2
Trashy gossip outside of our stellar recaps seems to be at a low point this week, so I give you a little drollery from one of our own commenters: NotWithoutMyTV on Sister Wives Feel: My mail-order Sudanese pageant child arrived healthy but soon became ill. Turns out he had a 19-foot tapeworm wrapped around his aorta. I had been feeding him more pixie stix and Red Bull than usual to keep him awake and bright-eyed for the Lower Arkansas Greater Midwest Ultra Glitz Showdown Pageant Local Nationals, so it was kinda hard to tell he was sick. We didn’t win any tiara-level prizes that day, but we were robbed by jealous bitches. I had health insurance, but I went to the emergency room and pled poverty. They gave me some expired dog heart-worm medicine, and it did the trick. So, I know exactly what you went through! elvisgrace had no idea what he was talking about, perhaps not having shared all the Toddlers and tiaras frivolity, so he explained: competion in the glitz pageants you see on Toddlers and Tiaras. Biggest problem is, I don’t possess a child. So I wrote a letter to one of those Sudanese war orphanages, and told them to “pick me out a facially gifted one, then him/her over here ‘live freight’.” I figured, if Brad and Angelina can do it, so can I. But I went with the Sudan, because adopting Chinese kids is sooooo 2004, you know? My story’s been all over TLC. They just CAN’T GET ENOUGH of the “freak family” angle.Now on the voting. Aunt Dorsey on Bachelor Jump: Holy crap, Elise stalked that preening hot tub of STDs, “The Situation” !? That man not only makes me reach for a bottle of Maalox, he also makes we want to take a leisurely stroll through a decontamination station. Bluuuuuuuuhah. NotWithoutMyTV on Bachelor Jump: I REALLY don’t know why you’re all harshing my Bachelor mellow like this. With your stripper stories and slagging One Pebble’s Dad skillz and making him out to be a homophobe. It should be about the Journey! All you folks want to do is get drunk enough in front of the ghostly blue light of your tvs to numb the cynicism that eating you alive! I know. I was one of you.But I found something better.Gapeach on Sister Wives Mini: No – I’ve noticed them, too. I’d be afraid to kiss Kody for fear of catching something. Well, I’d be scared to kiss him regardless whether Robyn has cold sores or not, but… Pages: 1 2